4 Reasons He Will Never Leave His Wife for You
by Rick Wall
So, you finally run into “Mr. Right,” and he appears to check off all of the boxes on your list of demands for a soul mate.
But wait!
Shortly after the start of the relationship, after he knows that he has won your heart, he reveals that he is still married. He assures you that the pending divorce is just a formality.
Although you are hurt, and you feel betrayed, you decide to give it a try. After all, you have never met a man who treats you the way that he does. He is kind and affectionate, and he always knows just the right thing to say to make you feel better about yourself.
So, you ask yourself, “How can something that feels so right be wrong?” Well, let’s talk about it for a moment.
Unfortunately, this type of situation happens far too frequently. Many times, these men turn out to be serial cheaters, meaning that they have become highly astute in concealing signs of their marriage. They pronounce themselves as single, and they seem to have a lot of free time on their hands.
This is not about beating yourself up, but about learning to love yourself enough to walk away, so that you can be prepared for a relationship with a man that only has eyes for you.
Below, you will find several key reasons why this married man who seems to want to uproot his entire life for you, will never leave his wife. Not even for you.
Divorces Are Costly
Research reveals that one of the primary reasons that men stay in marriages that they are not happy in is because they don’t want to face the financial consequences that are inextricably bound to a divorce. There is an old saying among men: “It’s cheaper to keep her.” There is literally a sub-culture among men in which they teach their sons this philosophy. It has been ingrained in his head long before he ever got married.
Kids Complicate Matters
If your new beau has children with his wife, things are even more complicated, and there is enough data out there that reveals that men use the children as an excuse to give their woman on the side for why they are not able to leave the home just yet. Who will argue with the fact that the kids want both parents in the home? Plus, it will make you seem selfish if you ask him to do anything that will upset his children.
Psychological Attachment
Now here is a reason that is extremely powerful, primarily because he is probably completely unaware that it exists.
Marriage is an institution that cultivates a unique bonding process. The combination of perpetual close proximity, frequent intimacy and availability create the ideal situation for the facilitation of the complete bonding process, which includes physical bonding, emotional bonding and psychological bonding.
It is the psychological bonding which is generally the last bond to be broken before couples actually break up and go their separate ways. If he is still with her, this is almost guaranteed to be a part of the reason, and as long as he is in the home with her, this will not change.
If He Were Going to Leave, He Would Have Left Already
The fact that he is still living in the home while being open to outside relationships is a key indicator that he is not leaving. If he were leaving, he would have already taken the necessary steps to at least move out of the home by the time he walked into your life.
Here is a little bonus advice; of the less than 20 percent of men who actually leave their wives after having an affair, less than 10 percent end up in relationships with the women they had the affair with.
The type of man that you want to give your heart and your life to would never take a mistress. He would take his vows too seriously, and if he determined he had to leave, he would do it in a way that did not dishonor his wife or himself.
Do yourself a favor, honor your worth and step away from the situation, and give yourself time to heal. In time, you will recover, and you will be in a position to receive the love of a man who will love you and protect your heart instead of break it.
You are worth it.
7 comments
Good article
God so true, I wish I would have seen through his lies over a year ago! Glad I know now before it was too late. So glad I didn’t waste more of my time
The real truth is this. He might leave his wife. But, the reality is you are with a man who cheated on his wife. Left his wife. Lied. You are with a man who, chances are, will one day leave you for another. Of course, this is not always the case. But, think about it.
What about the man who has already separated from his wife, says he’s in the process of divorce, but it’s been almost two years and hasn’t even filed yet? Says he wants to mary me, but doesn’t look like atbthis rate it will ever happen. Any advice?
When u have a wife that accuses u of cheating own her and taking a chance of hurting his two boys when your clearly not is either crazy as hell r she’s the one that’s doing the cheating herself??????
What about a man who says he has been separated for 6 years but she refused to sign the divorce papers? She has the kids and he has had his own place because he was working away from them but he stayed with them on occasion? She recently moved to another country and he is now practically living with me and says he wants to marry me and start a life together. Any thoughts?
AMEN.