Is your relationship headed for disaster?
Most people think that once they’re in a committed relationship, everything will be coming up roses. Well … sometimes.
And we only say that because getting into a relationship with a man or woman you love only takes you to so far. We all know that quality relationships require dedication, trust, forgiveness and compromise.
Without these things—and a few other vital requirements—even if you love each other, your relationship could be headed for disaster. The good news is, you can sometimes do something about this … and avoid the “disaster” part.
But first let’s talk about what signs you should be looking for. If most or any of these signs ring a bell in your relationship, you need to nip them in the bud and get to work.
8 Signs a Breakup Could Be Ahead
- There’s no fun play.
Do you laugh? Do you giggle and cuddle on the couch? Play is a big sign that a relationship is going well. For some, this might be gently teasing each other … while for others, it’s just watching a funny movie together and being able to laugh as a couple.
- You often feel unattracted to your partner.
If you find yourself feeling unattracted to your partner, this is a really bad sign. It’s often not a sign that you are not sexually attracted to your partner truly, but rather that other bad things in your relationship have seeped into your sex life, which isn’t good.
- You’re still furious about something from the past, and you can’t get over it. Or vice versa.
Is either one of you bringing up issues from the past when you fight? Or are you silently stewing about something that happened long ago? These are things that can cause problems in your relationship in the present even when they aren’t said aloud.
- You don’t socialize as a couple.
Going out as a couple means that you have formed a strong bond together and are willing to present yourself as a unit. If you do not do this, it’s a sign that you feel more comfortable alone, which means rocky times ahead for your relationship.
- One of you berates the other, or you both do it.
Gentle teasing is one thing, but serious criticisms are another. It’s not good if you are calling your partner out on every little thing or vice versa.
- You avoid each other.
Do you spend a longer amount of time shopping after work because you just don’t want to go home? Does he hang out with his friends more than usual? You’re avoiding each other.
- Your arguments are loud, cruel, and immature.
Fighting is normal, but when your arguments are loud and you find yourself screaming obscenities at the other person, you are not being a mature couple when you fight, and you need to work on this if you want to stay together.
- Your sex calendar is virtually empty.
Sex is a huge part of any relationship, and you need to be having it on a regular basis in order to stay close and bonded.
This Doesn’t Mean all Hope Is Lost … Yet
If you are feeling pretty sullen right now because you’ve ticked off most of the warning signs listed above, know that there is still hope for you and your relationship. But you need to put the work in.
Start by committing to resolving your conflicts. This is a big step because it lets both yourself and your partner know that you are ready to work on things. This lightens the load in a big way, and if you take this step first, it’s much easier for your partner to soften and take it the step too.
Next, work on how you fight. All couples fight, and that’s a good thing. You need to be able to resolve conflicts because conflicts are always going to be there. But you can’t have a free-for-all when it comes to having an argument. You need to set some ground rules, such as no name-calling, no voice raising, no bringing up problems from the past, and no threatening to break up if you don’t get your way.
Finally, work on the romantic/attraction part of your relationship—even if the interpersonal parts aren’t going so well. Attraction and attachment are such vital parts of any romantic connection, and if you can work on this, the rest should follow suit. You can use The Bonding Code for starters. Bob Grant, Licensed Professional Counselor, developed The Bonding Code to help women in your exact predicament create deep attraction and intimacy from your man.
The program will help him commit to loving you and not let your relationship flounder or disappear. It’s a very strong bond that will be formed, though, so make sure you’re ready before you start. You need to make sure this is the man for you forever more because … well, he will form a connection with you that will be hard to ever break.
Do all of these things, and your relationship does stand a chance! There’s no reason to admit defeat in love when you don’t have to.