There’s no surprise that romantic relationships require attention and refinement every so often. As you well know, the longer you’ve been together the more work it requires to keep things fresh and exciting – especially in the bedroom! It’s so easy to fall into routine and familiarity that you might be wondering, “Does my man still want me??” When sex isn’t working and you feel undesired, it can be devastating to your confidence, self image, and your emotional well being.
Sex requires work to work for you! And, as unsexy as that may sound, once you put in the work and get over the first few hurdles, your nights of intense passion will make it all worth it. If you’re toiling away, stressing over whether the man in your life is looking at you with the same level of burning desire, then stop worrying once and for all! Make him breathe heavy again at just the thought of you, and put those questions to rest with a few simple tactics.
Do you want to know the one thing that will keep your man after you no matter how many years you have together? Believe me, the most mind blowing, insatiable lust is still there. You just have to wake it up and make yourself the object of his longing! We’ll begin with some innocent moves you can start with, and build up to the sexier, more passionate, and more personal.
Let’s count down the 9 steps to reestablishing yourself as the goddess of your man’s desires once again:
- Affectionate Touch
Try a little tenderness! Show your love in small daily physical gestures. Again, it doesn’t have to be major. In fact, it’s the little special things you do for him that can leave the biggest impressions. A head on his chest, a light touch in passing, a surprise kiss, a playful caress. Men have a bad reputation for only wanting the intense physical contact, but your tenderness and sweetness also touch his desire as much as your unrestrained sexuality.
- Make Him Feel like A Man
We are all strong women in our own right and we run the world! But your man still wants to feel needed. He wants to feel like there are still some things in this world that only he can do for you. Tap into his ego just a little bit. Make him feel interesting. Make him feel strong. Make him feel like he’s a stud. Show genuine interest in his interests. Ask questions and show enthusiasm. Don’t need his help? Ask for it anyway. Maybe all he did was fix something, lift something heavy, or wore something hunky. Make a big deal of his manliness and tell him in that moment that he’s the man of your dreams.
- Don’t Give in to Too-Comfortable Complacency
A loving relationship means security and comfort! It can be tempting (and even a sign of a strong connection!) to let all inhibitions go in your day-to-day lives. But sometimes we forget that sexuality, desire, and lust rely on preserving a bit of mystery. By letting it all hang out too much, you can risk revealing too much. If you’re finding sex to be more of a struggle, try prioritizing discretion and even start simply by saving your naked body for seduction in the bedroom. Make intimacy a special thing again! Of course we’re only human, but try adding some allure and keep him guessing and wondering.
- Switch Up Your Style
It doesn’t even have to be drastic. Men love the novelty of something new, but most men still want the feeling of security and familiarity. (Afterall, you know his body the best!) So do something different, and it could be anything. Change up your hairstyle, try a new makeup palette, buy secret sexy lingerie, wear your glasses if you wear contacts (and vice versa), or embrace a completely unexpected look. Use your imagination and see what catches his eye. It doesn’t have to be over the top, but it should be noticeable. Now you have his attention!
- Let’s Talk About Sex … Often
Take sex from taboo to topic of conversation. But where to start? If it feels exceptionally awkward, start slow. Comment on a steamy scene in a movie and then bring it into a sexy chapter from your shared experience. (Does he want to do that with you?) Bring up a racy story you heard and then coax it towards your reality. (What if we did something like that?) Men often have a lot of trouble bringing up their desires, fantasies, and turn ons, but are eager to engage once the sultry ball gets rolling. You may need to extend the invitation the first few times, but eventually you’ll find your man initiating more and more. Get creative, get dirty, get deep – whatever it takes! As you both begin to get comfortable with these kinds of conversations he will see you in that lusty light again.
- Send a Super Racy Text First Thing in the Morning
Now let’s get into the more tangibly tantalizing! Texts are great because you can spend time on the right thing to say without having to feel embarrassed saying it out loud. Wait until he’s out of the house or just arriving at work. Make it a surprise, don’t hold back, and really catch him off guard. The naughty thrill will be part of the excitement. Tell him something he did that really turned you on. Be specific, describe details and let yourself really go there!
“The last time you __ was so hot! I’ve been thinking about it all morning. I can’t wait for you to come home so we can do it again”
We also know how visual men are, so get creative and make sure you paint a picture. Or include a picture! Give him a little sample of what could be waiting for him. Maybe it’s a selfie just for him? Maybe it’s just the new lingerie you bought? Don’t give him the full view – less is more. Let his imagination fill in the blanks!
- Re-Live a Specific Sexy Something from Your Past Together
I guarantee there’s a moment or vision frozen in your man’s head from the early days of your relationship, just as I’m sure there is one in yours. Things were still fresh, the sex was very good, and you were the sexiest woman in the world to him. What elements of those early exciting moments can you bring into the present? Was it a location? A date? A position? A place in the house? An article of clothing? Something you said or he said? Even a scent? Dig deep in your memory, get creative, and take him back to those early days when you couldn’t keep your hands off each other.
- Do Something Unexpected Once in A While
You know the one thing your man really goes crazy about, don’t you? Something naughty, something straight out of a fantasy. Maybe there’s more than one! Those are your secret weapons to use every so often, but make sure you still use them! Your man loves and respects you, but he also wants you to be just a little raunchy for him. Let your wild side out! Give him that look, play that role, wear that special thing, and say those dirty words to give him the mind blowing experience he dreams of. If your man knows that you still have that wild side that comes out every so often, he will always have a vision of you, his sex goddess, in the back of his head.
- Ramp Up Your Sex Drive to Turn Him On
Okay we’ve made it. Here’s the key to a man’s desire. Your desire! When he knows in his heart of hearts that you want him, then he’ll be powerlessly in lust with you all over again, all the time. To a man, there’s nothing better than knowing that you’re exceptionally turned on by him and ready to “get down”. Now that you’re more open about sexuality together, tell him! Tell him what, tell him when, tell him how much, and tell him often. Let your fantasies take over.
Do you ever find yourself needing a bit of a boost in that area? Start by taking care of your sexual well-being. Stress, sleeplessness, and even the foods we eat can affect our hormones and therefore our sex drive. Do a little research, embrace a wellness routine, prioritize the things that keep your confidence high, and do what makes YOU feel sexy. If you still need some assistance, try turning towards a natural option. With age and lifestyle, changes in your libido are totally natural, but you don’t have to live with it! These days, powerful herbal options can take your desire to the next level and there is absolutely nothing wrong with embracing what nature has to offer. All-natural aphrodisiacs are the real deal and we highly recommend that you try everything available to you!
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You want to be a giving partner who takes care of your man’s needs, but guess what? He wants to take care of your needs just as badly. So make sure he knows that you have needs and just how much you need them!