9 Signs He’s Mr. Wrong For You

9 Signs He’s Mr. Wrong For You

by Claire Casey

mr wrong for you

What if you could accurately predict whether or not the guy you’re dating is a relationship disaster waiting to happen? What are some of the red flags that indicate trouble ahead?

Below you’ll find a list you can use to uncover the warning signs that you’re in a potential no-go zone. If you find yourself checking off several of the items, you may need to seriously evaluate whether your man will be a “keeper” or whether you’re headed for heartbreak.

Warning: The list works both ways, of course! It’s one thing to rate your boyfriend, but it’s also telling to know how well he would rate you on these things too…

1. Neither of you have experienced any personal growth since you started dating each other.

Before you commit to someone you should have already experienced some minor problems together, and feel confident that the two of you can get out your maps and successfully re-chart a course that works for both of you. If you haven’t weathered a crisis and come out stronger for it, you still have things to work on before you make your decision to commit.

2. You are not one of the top 3 priorities in his life.

He can find time to work extra hours for a big promotion, play video games every day, help his dad restore that 1970 Plymouth Barracuda, and hang out with his buddies most weekends…but he can’t return your calls or be counted on to show up when and where he says he’ll meet you? You’re not a priority in his life.

Take a look at the top three things he makes time for every single week. Are you in there on a consistent basis? If not, you may need to face a painful truth about your importance in his life.

3. You have the sense that he’s hiding something from you.

It takes time and work to build trust between two people, and if you consistently feel like there are things he’s hiding from you, you probably still have some work to do before you’re ready to dive into a big commitment. You should know where his money comes from and what his general background is. You should be able to rely on him to do what he says he will do and be where he tells you he’ll be.

Still feel like there’s secretive things going on? Then it’s too soon to say “yes.”

4. Your most-trusted friends hate him, and he hates them, too.

When you’re in the initial stages of falling in love, it’s going to be hard for you to hear anything your friends have to say about your new love interest if it sounds the least bit critical.

But if your smartest, emotionally healthiest friends have grave misgivings about your paramour, that’s a pretty good indicator that there’s something amiss.

5. He’s deep in an addiction. (Or you are.)

If one or both of you are deep in the middle of an addiction battle, put off any conversations about committing to a long-term relationship. Save the commitment for when you BOTH have strong habits for self-care and you are ready to put the biggest part of your energy into your relationship.

6. You’re never sure whether he’s about to show affection or become violent.

Blaming, shaming, harming, and hitting often go hand-in-hand with charm and sweet-talking for some of the most dangerous men, which can set up confusion and keep their victims constantly off guard. Your safety is paramount, and no amount of justification can make emotional or physical abuse acceptable.

7. He tears down other people (PS: You’re next).

He has a dozen reasons why he shouldn’t have to pay child support, and he just can’t seem to find a single non-nasty thing to say about your mother. The world conspires against him, and he’s gotten a raw deal, the unlucky breaks, the sucky bosses, and nothing is ever his fault.

If he trash talks everything and everyone around him, chances are he is unwilling to take a look at himself to see just how offensive he is. There’s about as much chance of a healthy relationship with a a guy like this as there is putting out a forest fire with a water pistol.

8. He doesn’t value your opinion.

Does he always expect you to do things his way? Is every important choice or observation that you make instantly overruled by him? Sometimes women are happy to let a man lead, but if you’re finding that your opinion, preferences, or ideas are consistently unwelcome or regularly shot down, you’re not with the right man.

9. He has money for fun stuff, but can’t pay the rent.

At first these guys are a lot of fun. They know how to party and don’t mind dropping some cash to treat a woman well. However, it soon becomes clear that there are some significant issues with priorities. If he sports luxury Lugano shades and wants to take you to Dubai, but just got evicted from his crappy apartment because he didn’t pay the rent, you know.

What are your “Deal-Breakers”?

Even though I’ve named some of the bigger potential red flags, this isn’t an exhaustive list. Leave me a comment below and share some of the ways you’ve found to sort the keepers from the ones that need to be returned back to the wild…

Do you wonder what the man in your life really thinks about you? Do you wish you knew why he communicates the way he does and what his words really mean? Check out The Secret Survey to learn how to effectively interpret and communicate with men.

Claire

About Claire:

Claire Casey blogs at Ask Claire Casey and devotes her writing to helping you attract the kind of man who will treasure and protect your heart like the rare and beautiful gem it is. You can take Claire’s Love Number Quiz (it’s free) and make this YOUR year for love! 

Article Source: Digital Romance, Inc.

15 comments

  1. Thank heavens the gut that I’m talking to values my opinion. If he’s not working he’ll give me a surprise visit at work. He cqalls me if he’s at work to find out how I’m doing. I love him just the same.

  2. If he has issues with his family or does not treat his mother well.
    “A man will only treat his lover as well as bus mother. ” – unknown

  3. If he has issues with his family or does not treat his mother well.
    “A man will only treat his lover as well as his mother. ” – unknown

  4. my deal breaker is how he treats strangers and animals, if he isn’t nice, polite, and friendly to a waiter, the mailman, or just a guy on the street that majorly speaks to his character. if he isn’t nice to animals how can he be nice to people? these are just a few little clues that speak to his character.

    1. This is a valuebe one for me as well. Thank you for sharing. Actions speak louder than words. A deal breaker for me is if he talks about what he’s going to do but never seems to get it done. Walk the walk or like I stated above show me once your have told me. Actions are louder than words.

  5. I truly love my guy.But He rarely calls n text and when he do,he makes up a reason to meet up.while we meet he cmpletely becom positively bt he hides his feelings..tell silly stories,we laugh off..he hb positiv attitude.But after we gudbye each other for instant after meeting up,he is lost.Really mostly i hab to communicate him.Smtim i feel he does love me but donot show off..smtime i feel he doesnt at all 🙁
    Once he said he is traped of famly decision of not accepting me for him..but still smhow we r togthr.strange but truth. :/ pls gimme sm tips

    1. You deserve better than that. When a man is into you, he won’t make excuses and nothing will keep him from you. If he only talks to you in order to meet up, you are a booty call. That is not love and explains why he doesn’t express his feelings for you. Move on to someone who deserves your affection!

  6. This is great insight for both genders . Also though if you haven’t met his friends or his family after you’ve been together for 9 mons. That’s a HUGE red flag in my opinion. It’s like what are you hiding? And your guy or girl comes back at you saying: “well there’s not that many people left in my family”. Um ok shouldn’t that make it easier? Or when you haven’t met his friends yet. “You wouldn’t approve of their lifestyle”. I just went through this and broke it off.

  7. This sheds some light on a few things for me. It’s always nice to see that a decision you made isn’t necessarily a bad one. Thank you!!!

  8. If he 1. Drinks to much, or don’t want to self improve his drinking, or don’t care about ur request for him not to be a drunk n front of ur kid.
    2. If he gets his eyebrows plucked more then u, or if he’s more feminine then u. Run!
    3. If he’s bad at kissing.
    4. If after a month n a half he decides he wants to improve his drinking after being drunk at a family function more then once and u have asked him not too.

    Sorry my list goes on and on about my ex. He was disrespectful with my wishes…etc..

  9. What do you do if you are already married to someone like this? Everything you listed is my husband….! We’ve split up about 4 times and each time he puts on a really good act making me think he’s the man I know he can be…when we got married 5 1/2 years ago I felt sceptical. I feel I should have listened to my gut but I didn’t and I feel I’ve been paying for that bad decision ever since. Its very lonely and its affecting our sex life and I have seriously thought about divorce but I mainly stay for the kids. I love my family. I also stay because I am a Christian. And I don’t want to break this covenent. Do you think there is ever any speck of hope in these kinds if relationships?