Are You Emotionally Castrating Your Man?
by Rick Wall
There are few things that can be as devastating to a romantic relationship as a woman who emotionally castrates or emasculates her man. Unfortunately, it happens more often than you might think.
Before this comes across as being strongly accusatory, it is worth noting that most women do NOT do this intentionally. It has a lot to do with how differently men and women are wired. What is acceptable for women is not always acceptable for men, and vice versa.
The sole purpose of this article is to provide women with a better understanding of what emotional castration actually is and how it can work to drive a nail into your relationship coffin if the behavior isn’t changed. One of the keys to long-lasting, happy relationships is to treat each other with love, compassion, and respect which is severely compromised if you are emotionally castrating your partner on a regular basis.
Defining Emotional Castration
Emotional castration is a type of emasculation in which a woman, usually unintentionally, in some way, denies the sincerity of a man’s feelings or desires, subsequently making him feel insignificant, weak or useless.
In a more simplified explanation, she attacks the emotional masculinity of his actions and words.
Most men come across as being absent of emotion, which is absolutely not the case. Men simply have a different method of expressing and dealing with their emotions. Unfortunately, this can lead to the perception that they are impervious to emotional assault. In truth, emotional castration is not the result of a woman being mean spirited, but it is primarily the result of simply not understanding how to engage her man in the manner in which she can ensure that her needs are met and her concerns are engaged, without detracting from him. Sometimes, it is simply the result of engaging an issue without considering or understanding the differences between her man and herself.
Following, are several actions that are almost certain to emotionally castrate your man:
Subtle or Direct Rejection
No matter how hard or tough your man seems on the exterior, he has a strong fear of and disdain for rejection.
This is due to the fact that men are wired to seek affirmation from the women that they love. Men normally have difficulty with expressing the way they feel, so when they express themselves, and you reject them or tell them that they are lying, you emotionally castrate them, and their response will be to shut down or give up.
One of the top reasons men give for not complimenting their women, or attempting to be romantic with them, is the fear of being rejected.
It is important to understand that rejection does not always come in the form of denying a man something he wants; it can also come in the form of dismissing his efforts to compliment or edify you.
Frontal Castration
One form of castration that is sure to shut your man down and create distance is to insult or humiliate him in front of others. Embarrassing your man in public is diametrically opposed to healthy relationship habits. A partner finds their strength in covering the vulnerabilities of their significant other, not exposing them.
Although a man may not ever verbally express it, he has entrusted you with knowledge of his weaknesses, and he expects you to properly manage what he has entrusted you with. When you attack him and humiliate him, especially in public, it breaks a sacred trust that is immensely difficult to rebuild once it has been destroyed.
Blind Spot Castration
This is really tricky to understand, but it is extremely common with women. A blind spot castration is when you almost immediately follow a compliment to your man that lifts his spirit and ego with some critical assessment. The critical assessment not only destroys any benefit of the compliment that preceded it, but it also catches him completely off guard and totally deflates his spirit and kills the moment.
When this is done consistently, it will actually lead to your man becoming highly anxious following any compliments you may give him.
Bear Trapping Castration
This is probably the most popular form of emotional castration of men, and it absolutely drives them nuts. Bear trapping is that situation in which nothing your man says is going to matter in the current discussion or argument. You have made up in your mind that you are right, so now you are listening only for the purpose of responding instead of understanding. This makes a man feel completely helpless, not a feeling that anyone likes.
The key to overcoming this type of behavior is simple — gratitude and appreciation. Learn to give a significant amount of gravity to the effort of your man. Take the time to consider that any time he opens up to you, he is placing himself in a vulnerable position that he is not comfortable with. That alone is indicative of the fact that he cares.
Be receptive of his compliments and actions toward you. He needs to be affirmed and received.
The Next Step in “Getting Him”
If you often find yourself at a loss as to why men behave the way they do, go to this link right now and take a look at what Michael Fiore has to say about why men behave the way they do.
Men can be extremely difficult to understand simply because we operate and think much differently than women. Having compiled results from tens of thousands of men he surveyed, Mike gives it to you straight about the (often shocking) truth about men, how they think, why they act the way they do, and how you can find the man who will want to create a life with you, not just use you.
This is the best, most comprehensive, RAW information on men I have ever come across. Here is that link again to watch what men DESPERATELY want you to know but could never tell you: The Secret Survey.
5 comments
I like the spirit of the article. Important issue that needs to be addressed.
BUT, the term “emotional castration” is excessive.
Reminds me of how women throw around the term “rape” like it’s candy.
The points are valid but the term is sensational. I can’t take it seriously
I really appreciate the message.
What a horrible way to justify and rationalize a psychologically abusive partner’s abusive behavior. “wired differently” it’s abuse learned from within their family of origin that’s perpetuated because their partner is unaware of what it is, why it’s being used and that they are positively reinforcing it by people pleasing with the abusive partner.
Kinnee?
Interesting article. I found there to be some truths to what is being said, but I believe most women do protect men’s egos far more than this article lets on.
Though I realize this article is dedicated to a specific subject, I also have to ask why it is, once again, left up to the woman to figure out how men’s minds and emotional intellect works while men never feel the need to figure out how a women’s mind works.
Maybe I am just too new to this site and have missed any articles that are reversed to show how men’s behaviours can completely devastate a woman’s sense of self worth.
I’ve read and considered all the findings of how men are threatened and even devastated by a woman’s words or gestures, but have to wonder if we aren’t enabling them to continue a vulnerable state of mind. Women are equally afraid of the same things, yet, it has been suggested that we get in tune with a man’s way of thinking, rather than maintain awareness and find mutual respect, which, I believe, generates all of necessary ingredients to move forward, with more confidence. If a man’s fears rejection, paralyze him that much, he should remain alone, or go to counseling. Men are exclusive in possessing those feelings! Women feel exactly the same way! I’m unable to accept their inability to handle emotions, as grounds for dismissal responsibility for participation in establishing a relationship. I see this as under-developed emotions, in some, who are simply afraid to risk disappointments in what they claim to be looking for. Trade your security blanket for a superman cape; get out there, wearing a thicker skin, minus emotions on your sleeve….that’s what women do.