Right, so when do we leave the “scolded child” phase and become our own person? When we’re little kids, we rarely question our authority figures despite the number of tantrums we throw because we don’t want to clean our rooms or wear those really scratchy wool sweaters that our moms or grandmas think are so cute. Looking back, we know that those who raised us were trying to allow us to learn the “rules” of social behavior during our formative years. Yes, even though we wanted to do our own thing, our way, apparently changing our ways to their ways built character.
Fast forward to adulthood – should anyone have the right to be asking us to change? Fundamentally, the answer is no. Yes, there are instances in which others are concerned for our well-being and their desire to see us live our lives differently, outside of harm’s way is logical. If someone truly loves you, they want the best for you and they certainly don’t want to see you suffer. However, the ultimate choice as to how we choose to live our own lives is ours, and what others think is best for us, often times is not the way we see it for ourselves.
The long and short of it is that we can’t change for anyone. Those who try, will fail if they don’t believe in it and want it for themselves. If you are waiting for someone to change so that things will get better, you’re probably setting yourself up for disappointment. If you are being pressured by someone to change a part of you that you do not want to change or feel that you can’t, it will only make you resentful towards that person. Expectation is the root of all heartache, indeed. ~Gia