How Much Sex Should You Be Having?

At one point or another, most couples consider whether or not they’re having the right amount of sex. What’s healthy? What’s normal? These questions can cause a lot of issues with self-esteem and stress, and worst of all, they can create rifts in relationships.

In general, most couples assume that they don’t have enough sex to be considered healthy, but some might even worry that they’re having sex too often.

Here come the statistics.

If you’ve ever worried about this, you might have tried to Google the typical frequency of sex in other couples. But you’ve got to remember that stats will vary widely when you do a simple search. Even if you ask friends, you might not get a straight answer.

The best statistics on this topic can be found from the Kinsey Institute. Since the 1940s, the goal of the Kinsey Institute has been to further sexual health and knowledge throughout the world. And most importantly, they’ve got all the goods on who’s doing what to whom in the bedroom (plus how and when they’re doin’ it).

Sex Frequency Trends by Relationship Status*

Married Couples and Those in Long-Term Relationships

For couples who are married, the Kinsey Institute says that approximately…

– 4% have sex 4 or more times per week

– 25% have sex 2-3 times per week

– 49% have sex a few times per month to once a week

– 6% have not had sex in the last year

As for those couples who are in long-term relationships…

– 10% have sex 4 or more times per week

– 28% have sex 2-3 times per week

– 30% have sex a few times per month to once a week

– 19% have not had sex in the last year

Couples in New Relationships

So what about newly in love couples? Well, we’ve all been MIA to the world for the first few weeks of a new relationship, right? And we certainly weren’t playin’ Yahtzee behind those bedroom doors. So we’ll just let you figure out how much those couples are having sex (hint: they win).

Sex Frequency Trends by Age*

Here’s what you need to know about couples and sex based on age. The trend appears to be that most adult couples aged 20-49 have sex once to twice per week, but to break it down, on average…

Couples in their 20s have sex about 2 times per week.

Couples in their 30s have sex about 1.65 times per week.

Couples in their 40s have sex about 1.33 times per week.

50s, 60s and Beyond

Sex happens less often as couples get older. In their 50s…

– 36% of couples have sex once per week

– 19% have sex a few times per year to once a month

– 24% have not had sex at all in the past year

These numbers get lower by a few percentage points when couples hit their 60s, and the stats continue to go down into the 70s and beyond.

So how much sex SHOULD YOU be having?

At this point, you might find yourself buried in a calendar and plotting graph points to figure out how often you and your partner have sex. It’s natural to compare yourself like this. You’ve read the facts, you know the stats, and now you want to know: Are you normal? Does your sex life live up to everyone else’s?

First, throw those questions out the window and answer me one thing: How much do YOU WANT to have sex?

This is the only answer that matters.

Truth is, friends, there’s no formula for the perfect amount of sex. Sex is not a “duty.” Maybe it was in the 1600s, but we’re living in 2015, baby. Unless your aim is to have a child, the overall goals of sex should be having fun, getting and giving pleasure, and becoming closer with your partner. The numbers you read up there are just numbers, that’s it.

If you REALLY want to get some kind of hold on how often you should be having sex, the formula is easy: look inward not outward. Stop comparing yourself to other couples, and start talking with your partner because they’re the only one who matters.

And if you’re worried about different sex drives between men and women, we hear ya!

Sex and being intimate with your partner is indeed part of a healthy relationship, so this is something you’ll need to discuss just like everything else in your relationship: money, religion, kids, and doing the dishes. If, on the other hand, you’ve found that you’ve hit a particularly lengthy dry spell, all you have to do is get some help from the pros.

So, do you want to learn how to have the hottest sex of your life? 

You absolutely need to check out The Language of Desire. This is a unique resource that gives women in particular countless pro tips on how to spice things up in the bedroom.

From learning how to become a master at dirty talk to learning a number of other sexy moves, you’ll learn how to really blow his mind, and leave absolutely no doubt that YOU are the most amazing sex goddess he’ll ever have the pleasure of knowing.   You’ll be turned on, and so will he! That’s what I consider a win!

Just click HERE to get started!

*Frequency of sex by relationship status and gender