I have been having much trouble with love.

I’m a young woman and I have been having much trouble with love.

A friend of LSI has written to us asking for some advice.  She’s young and feeling frustrated with her love life.  Let’s help her out by posting replies to her message below!  Here is her letter to us:

Hello.  I’m a young woman and I have been having much trouble with love or relationships, period.  It’s as if no matter how hard I try, I can never find someone.  I always end up alone with my heart broken. I’m the only one out of my friends who has never dated.  I know I have my whole life ahead of me and love is a silly thing at this age, but  I always wonder how it feels.  I just need something to give me hope. ~ Anonymous


  1. It’s really about what your expectations are. If you just want to fall in love to “know what it feels like”..you will miss a whole lot of what it actually is..which is sharing, and selflessness–it is caring and patience, nurture, and not to mention real good warmth, comfort and fun!
    I don’t know you at all, but my words would be to you to remain patient, be open to learning about the other person..and just take your time. There is no rush..whatsoever!

  2. Love will come when you least expect. You have to be patient for it sometimes. As frustrating as it may seem to constantly wait, it’s worth every minute. In the mean time enjoy being single find out what you enjoy, then while your out doing those things maybe you’ll find someone who enjoys them too. 🙂
    Love is magnificent, and when you find it, you’ll realize that it too was worth waiting for.

  3. I’ve been that girl. I know how you feel. I had given up totally, then bam… he was there just when I’d given up. You’re best bet is let it find you. There is a young man out there who feels like you. When it is your time, he’ll appear like a dream.

  4. I too have been that girl. I’ve always been timid. All throughout high school I refused to focus on anything but my studies, and evidently had crushes, but never took the time to seriously pursue any until later on. At this point I suffered heartbreak after heartbreak, where none of my relationships would last more than a few weeks. I could see that many of my classmates and friends had thriving love lives and this made me question myself as a person. Just after going through a horrible prolonged break up, when I was walking around during my frosh week with no friends whatsoever at the university and feeling very alone, I bumped into the love of my life. Everybody is looking to be loved. It is the most wonderful feeling in the world, and loving somebody is just as great. You have to love yourself before you can love somebody else, so pursue your interests and you will find somebody who likes them as much as you do. He will also come along with many new and interesting experiences for you both to share! Do your best to make friends first – don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. Take your time to really truly get to know everybody you meet and open up and let them know the real you. The one you are looking for is walking around.. he will find you.

  5. I met my wife on the internet 13 years ago. We met in a chat room, before there were dating sites. After a couple of months, I convinced her to let me call her on the phone. She told me she liked my voice. It wasn’t at all what she was expecting. My personality is a blend of Cowboy & Rocket Scientist. She’s one of the few who understands what she likes to call, “My Wit”. We could make each other laugh, even if no one, “Got It”. It was for this very reason I asked her to marry me before we met. On Labor Day 2000, we met for the first time. It was like we were meant to be together. She, “Honored Me”, by becoming my wife May 5th, 2001. What I’m getting at, is, I had to cast a wide net for me to find the right girl for me. I never gave up; I just change my strategy of having fun by doing what I liked. That’s when I found someone who had the same interests and we built our relationship on things that will last. Now I have a friend “For an Eternity or Two, with a Renewable Option”. It was in the Vows.

  6. I agree with the Love takes time comment. It does take time, it’s hard to say don’t look for it, let it come to you. But sometimes you have to look for it but have to be understanding in what trials you have to go through before finding true love.
    Also, I was encouraged in my youth group many years ago to make a list of at least ten things you want in a companion. When you make that list, don’t drift from it when finding your mate, remember those thing you trully want in a companion.
    Good luck and I hope you will find true love!

  7. Don’t look for love…harder you try to find it the harder it gets to find. Love does make its way around to you, you just need patience. I was single for 10 years and finally found my true love. Go ahead and date or be single…just find what makes you happy. Love likes happiness 😉

  8. I agree with most of the comments left already. Enjoy yourself and be happy with you and your choices. Don’t let someone change you just so that you can feel loved because eventually the real you will come out and the possibility that what you thought was real may soon be a memory. If you aren’t tried and true right from the start then you have nobody but yourself to blame if it doesn’t work in the end. Be honest even if it isn’t what he wants to hear. Be honest with yourself most of all and everything you want and deserve will make its way to you.