He Has Shut Me Out of Our Relationship

He Has Shut Me Out of Our Relationship

It’s been a year that I have been in a relationship with my bf, we live just one 35 minute plane ride away from each other. I had him in my community for 1 month, then he finally went home, and suddenly after a couple of days, he shut me out and he won’t tell me the reason why. I kept asking him what the reasons are, he said distance was one of them, and he wouldn’t tell me the other reasons. I gave him many chances to be with me, but I’ve got only very few chances from him. Is he worth the wait? Will he open up to me and everything’s back to the way it was? It’s been almost two weeks now that he has shut me out.


  1. I know how hard this is, I’ve been through it. Don’t wait. YOU are worth so much more. It’s not about what he’s worth, he’s already distanced himself, that was his choice.

    There is a chance he my open up to you down the road, there’s a chance everything might go back to the way it was. But right now, you deserve more, you need to focus on you.

  2. Any ‘man’ who dates someone for a year and breaks up with them without the decency of a sincere conversation and some empathy is not worthy of your worry.

    My advice would be to go ahead and mourn your loss, but retain your dignity by never chasing any man who would ever allow a person of whom he even loved for a moment to feel like he allowed you to feel.

    1. Thanks, Ryan. You have no idea how timely that response was for me, and that was the “real talk” I needed today.

  3. Hi There;

    After a year long relationship, it seems that he owes you more than the explanation he gave regarding distance.
    I know how painful this must be, and frustrating as we always crave resolution when things go awry. I have learned that resolution is not always an option.
    You may never know what happened and you also don’t know why he refuses to supply you with any rhyme or reason as to why he abandoned the relationship. It may or may not have anything to do with you. I have also learned that actions speak much louder than words and we often do not pay attention. We are so hoping for a particular outcome that we ignore a lot of red flags.
    Ask yourself if you would want to remain in a long term serious relationship with someone who could walk away after a year with no explanation at all. He may have done you a favor.
    Look at the bright side… it was only a year, no divorce and thank God no kids and you are free to find someone who treats you with way more regards. I wish you well.

    1. Completely agree Karen. You do convince yourself to avoid the red flags. Sadly I was not so lucky, my relationship was 8 years, 2 kids and now a divorce. I am steadily moving on a year later but, there was a distance between us. No explanation as to why he’d done it even to this day.
      I’d say cut your losses now, if the distance is there his heart is no longer with you and your relationship.

      1. Hi Kay,

        Moving steadily on is great. I am certain it isnt easy but you have those wonderful children and the freedom now for you and them to be happy and receive the love and attention you so deserve. Be well!

  4. Let him go… I fought for 25 years for a guy like your discribing. I lost who I was, had enough one morning, and left him. My life is wonderful, and it ME TIME now.
    Dont fight for whats not there. ♡

  5. For 6 months I have loved a man unconditionally. He made so many promises. All I asked were three things. Two of them he couldn’t keep (Lies and being faithful). Save yourself a lot of heartache girl. He is not into you. Let him go. As hard as it seems, as much you love/like him, he will never commit. Let him go. You are worth so much more.