Lip Service question – How do I tell my parents? Please help our friend by leaving your comment.
I could use some advice. I recently started seeing a guy from work. I am having a hard time trying to figure out how to tell my parents about it because I know they will not like it at all, and they can tend to try to be a bit controlling. The guy is black (I’m white), and he is 10 years older than me (I’m 26). I need to tell them soon because my dad works at the same company, and people are starting to talk because they suspect. Please help!!
Either just come out and say it, or don’t worry about it. It’s none of their business anyway (I’d be careful though, most companies have policies about work-relationships). You can always say you were waiting till it got serious, especially if you’re just playing around right now, getting started.
I have to speak to this because I had a similar situation.
First, check the HR manual at your company for what defines a ‘relationship with a colleague’. Some companies limit it to ‘supervisor/team’ relationships, others are much more specific.
I would then let that guide me. Should you be in a different department, always be professional and keep work and personal life separate.
On that level, get to know him for *him* and *you* for you. Having been in a relationship with 10 years difference, there are positives and negatives.
What stopped me dead cold was not my family’s criticism, but his. He was the youngest in a large family and somehow he couldn’t bring a ‘white girl’ home to meet his mama and family. Also, I realized that when I would be nearing retirement, he would be a decade retired…and should we have kids, he would be almost retired when they finished high school.
Don’t let me scare you – I’m a thinker – I think of everything. But what I can’t emphasize enough is good communication, confidentiality, discretion, and honesty.
I do hope you find your soul mate.