He’s Not Listening to Me!
Sometimes, your guy’s sort of a mystery, right? Of course you know him. After all, you’re together. But in many relationships, there are still some questions and concerns floating around. On your end, you’ve got lots to say, and you could probably spend half the night in deep discussion.
But he’s a little more apprehensive. You might be afraid to bring things up around him because you don’t want to seem whiny, or you might be reluctant to mention something that could turn into a huge fight. Then there’s always the blank stare or the brush off. Or the, “Okay, why don’t we do this … Problem solved.” Like it’s that easy. So what’s going on in that brain of his? Are there feelings like yours in there? Is he listening?
If you want your man to listen—and not just listen, but respond and discuss and really let his feelings out—you’ve got to know why he’s feeling so reluctant to engage. Here are the reasons he’s likely clamming up.
1. You’re Stifling Your Emotions
This is easy to do when you feel like your voice won’t be heard. But if you continue to push down how you really feel, it’s going to cause you and your relationship a lot of strife. This is because there’s actually no hiding how you feel. He’s going to know something’s wrong. In most cases, he won’t be ready to breech the subject anymore than you are. This leads to two people who are uncomfortable and uneasy with a giant elephant in the room.
So stop stuffing down your emotions. If you can finally find the courage to open up (and do it in the right way), your man will actually find this vulnerability and openness endearing and very attractive, and it will make him want to be better himself.
2. You Don’t Know the Right Way to Express Your Feelings
When it comes to an issue that you would like to discuss with him, there is a right way to approach things and a wrong way, and it’s all about phrasing. Think about how you usually mention an issue. You probably use “you” phrases like, “You never call or text me during the day!”
This phrase sounds like an accusation, and it will most likely set him off. Try using “I” phrases instead. For example, try, “I would really love to hear from you during the day. It gets me really excited to see you later on.” In a nutshell, your issue with him now becomes essentially a compliment. He’ll see it as an eyeopening and kind way of alerting him that you would appreciate a call or text every once in a while. Win-win.
3. You Don’t Understand That Men Do Want to Talk About Their Feelings (A Lot)
This is a common myth that women perpetuate: that men either don’t have many feelings or just never want to talk about them. Yes, women love talking about their feelings by simply spilling them—sometimes in long, run-on sentences and emotional confrontations. But men want to show how they feel too—just not in the same way. Know this, and you’re one step closer to a better relationship.
Now the question is: how do you tune into this mystery world of men? How do you find out things like why they fall in love with certain women and not others, the attributes they find irresistible in a woman, their true feelings about your relationship, and everything else? Up until now, it’s been impossible to know all of this. But fortunately for women everywhere, we finally have the answers to these burning questions.
Relationship expert, Bob Grant has finally spilled the beans about what men are really thinking in a tell-all book. If you want to finally find out what’s really going on inside your man’s head, “The Woman Men Adore…And Never Want to Leave” is an absolute must-read. You simply can’t find this information anywhere else. To see for yourself, just click the link below.