The One Thing Every Man Needs His Woman To Say (It’s Not What You Think)

The One Thing Every Man Needs His Woman To Say

(It’s Not What You Think)

by James Bauer


Do you remember what it was like to first fall in love? This wonderful feeling doesn’t have to stop.


I can tell you first hand what it feels like to a man when he first falls in love with a woman. He feels happy. His happiness flows naturally from expectations of something wonderful in his future. He feels more connected with the world, even when she’s not around. His mind is compartmentalized, so he sometimes gets so engrossed in his work that he is literally surprised by the joyful emotions that erupt for a few seconds each time something reminds him of you during the course of his work day.


If he continues down this road, the euphoria of love makes him start to adore everything about you. The edges of your lips, your neckline, the tone of your voice, everything about you starts to seem perfect and magical. He begins to fantasize about kissing you before his boss snaps him out of it in the middle of a meeting.


This all sounds pretty close to what you would expect so far, right? Well, what happens next may seem a little odd. All those positive feelings build into a desire to become your lover. What that means to a man is very different than what it means to a woman.


In his quest to become your lover, a man’s feelings will shift toward a desire to impress you. That sounds nice, right? Well, it can be nice, or not, depending on how you respond to him.

You see, men have a soft spot underneath the hard emotional exterior. We may act tough, stubborn, angry, or macho on the outside, but all that is really serving a softer emotional need. Men cannot thrive in a deep passionate type of relationship unless they feel they have a woman’s admiration and respect.


If your man thinks you like him, but he feels you do not really admire him, the “in love” feelings will quickly fade and often extinguish completely like the wick of a candle that has been snuffed out.


The hard truth is that if you snuff out the fire from the wick of a candle, it’s out. You can warm up to him all you want, but he will feel cold and only respond by blowing little wisps of smoke into your face from the extinguished flame. Many women have felt this. Some women have been through it more than once in a marriage.




  1. So what if your man wanted you to change and be sexy then oh once you did he wanted you the way you were and so now it’s your fault? This post is crap!

  2. I’m curious to hear other people’s comments, because my marriage has been at that stage where ur on a cliff, and it begins to shake some rocks may fall, but it does stop shaking, for the girls sake. I’m not so sure that I agree with this article, but I know that I am gonna read more.

  3. If after reading all that you need one line or are seeking one line you are missing the point. And for all you morons guy or girl the poster is very right, learn your partner, be their biggest cheerleader, dont be so daft.. oh he wants me to be sexy.. let me throw on a mini skirt… no there’s more to sexy than just physical… but if you dont possess the ability to read your partner, stroke their ego, say the right things without having to explain it.. then why would you assume you can understand this article?

  4. The presentation is long winded and resembles advertisements to the secret to weight loss food. Get to the point! I Lost interest and stopped before finishing. Life is short. I don’t need a 60 minute dissertation to learn how to respect and love my man. Sounds like fluff to me! !!

  5. I need advice… my husband of 20 years is having an affair…and I know her
    They think I don’t know. .. I have witnessed their secret lunches, the touching and kissing
    I’m so angry at myself for not confronting them and ending this now… I’m getting some things in order first, a place to live etc..
    20 years…and I’m so sad
    when do I say something to them? At their next lunch date? They tell everyone they are just friends having lunch, but the waitresses say they are all over each other and never eat lunch…

    1. So sorry. You are super smart to get yourself in order. Stay strong. You are not the only one that is going through this.

    2. Sharon- I am in the same place as you. I did something he felt was disrespectful to him, but I don’t know what it was. Perhaps this article can help me understand what it was. Or maybe I’ll discover he has let this become an excuse for his behavior. I am not yet ready to throw away 15 years of a wonderful relationship for 1year of unacceptable behavior.. yet. Patience,understanding & true love may prevail. We’ll see. If not , I will be better prepared as a person. I would advise you to study your feelings & choose your words carefully. Good Luck to you.

  6. What about when you become sexually active with.a man in the beginning of the realationship and no longer have the desire because of your spirituality? Im talking about six years in the relationship. We fellowship and worship together as a family. We are not married but talking about it. This intimate thing is killing it, because now I would rather wait until we get married. He seems to have a need for it, when he want it. I have made him out to be the man of God that he is but we are not on the same level when it comes to wanting to live according to bible. I love him he the father of my youngest son, what do you do in a situation like this?

  7. This interest me, because, I have a good man and I want to keep him. Helpful tips on keeping him, I am all for it.

  8. I am in love with my best friend but that’s all he’ll be is my best friend, he had told me a couple of times that he’s not interested in a relationship with me. .. it hurts yes and I want to keep the friendship but how do I stop feeling this way about him? People say I just need to distance myself from him which I have and the feelings are more tolerable but it’s like when we do spend time together those feelings come flooding back like they never left. I know time will help but what do I do in the mean time while the feelings are so strong.?

  9. I disagree with this. I believe that this may take place biologically, but somehow a woman should spoon feed her man admiration and respect to maintain. As a woman who is in the middle of a situation where her man stopped doing all those little things, and forgot what started his whole testosterone filled glory; it works both ways!!! Approaching a relationship with love and respect is mutual, and once it falls off it’s very hard to pull it away from the edge. It takes conscious effort every day on both parts, putting little quibbles aside and realizing no one is perfect. That’s where a successful relationship comes into play. Balanced and equitable is the way to a healthy relationship.

  10. This is ridiculous. First you cannot generalize what works for every relationship… Human experience is complicated and so are the things that drive each individual. More importantly love is not narcissistic, it does not have room for ego, and real love has no need for pretense. Love is about mutual consideration and the understanding that there is no “score” you simply do for the other and move forward together (however you do that… Again our experiences cannot be reduced to do this or that for a happy relationship). I have been in a deeply loving and connected relationship for 15 years and not once have I had to stroke my husband’s ego or he mine… I’m sorry but the entire premise of this article is flawed (at best).

  11. What if he doesn’t deserve or do anything to be admired or respected? My husband and I are separated, I don’t want to divorce, but he refuses to try at all or come around.