To Be On Top or Not To Be On Top: Advantages and Disadvantages

You’ve heard about all those crazy Kama Sutra and Tantric sex moves. Sure, those can be fun to experiment with. Who doesn’t like a twisty move with lots of challenging maneuvers on a late night?

But okay, let’s be honest. How often are you pulling out all the stops with your sex moves? How many times are you really messing around with the one-leg-up-one-leg-down-halfway-on-the-bed-wheelbarrow-kneeling-position? How many times would you rather just go to town in the way that feels best? Good old-fashioned face-to-face, one on the top, one on the bottom sex.

That can be pretty darn exciting too, right? Most people go to this tried and true position on a regular basis. Because it works.

With that being said, this move still requires one important decision:

Who’s on top?

Obviously, there are pros and cons to both being on the top and being on the bottom, but how many times have you heard these particulars discussed?

If you’re a gal who has a sexual rendezvous coming up (or if you’re just interested in this topic), check out the pros and cons of being on top below. They may help you decide to give “on top” a try … or … they might remind you why you prefer missionary … Regardless, let’s go.

The Pros of “Being on Top”

• You control the action.

If you’re someone who typically likes to take a leading role in life and in relationships, you may like the idea of being in control during sex. And without a doubt, the person on top has the most control. For women, this can be good.

Because women frequently have more trouble orgasming than men, this means that woman on top is most beneficial for her. It allows her to control the action and the movements so that she can get there more easily.

• This position often feels the best anyway.

Regardless of how in control you are, for many women, being on top is just better physically because it positions things so that you get the most stimulation in the perfect places. Furthermore, if you need more stimulation—ahem—up front, your partner can help with this but allow you to do the rest of the work

• You’re seen as more adventurous and sexy.

If you’re looking to add a little more spice to an otherwise missionary-centric sexual relationship, woman-on-top is the perfect gateway position. It allows you to get creative, show off your body in a sexy way and feel more confident.

The Cons of “Being on Top”

• You’re in charge of the action.

So obviously … this one goes both ways. Above, it’s a pro because it can feel good to be on top and in control.

But also … it can be a lot of responsibility. Many women aren’t into the idea of taking the female superior position. In fact, lots of women would like their male partners to take control, and when you’re on the bottom, you can let him take charge.

• It may not be the most flattering view of you.

Now when it comes to sex, if you have a great partner who cares about you (and you should!) everything you do will be flattering.

With that being said, if it’s a new relationship and you’re a little shy or perhaps nervous about your body at first, the woman on top position might unfortunately make you even more self-conscious. After all, you’re basically on display when you’re on top.

But when you’re on the bottom, you can lay back, and kind gravity will do its job at pulling everything back and away in a flattering light.

• It can get tiring.

In other words, you can’t just lay back and relax when you’re up top. Being on the bottom means basically chilling out while the other person does all the work. As stated above, this may be annoying and boring at times, but it’s also quite a lot of work to be on top managing most of the physical movements.

The Factors at Play

Before closing, let’s revisit one thing: The fact that largely, who goes on top and who goes on bottom will depend on what type of person you are and where you are in your relationship with this guy.

Particularly, are you someone who doesn’t mind taking control in your relationship? Have you two tried lots of different positions already? Are you shy about your body? All these questions will influence whether or not you feel comfortable and confident being on top at this point in your relationship.

But there’s one piece of advice here. You may not be comfortable being on top right now, or perhaps you never like being up there … but do try to attempt new positions from time to time.

Because there’s more to rolling in the sheets than the missionary position. And even trying something as simple as switching the missionary roles can bring a whole new sort of fun to your sex life. That’s what it’s all about.