Top Dos and Don’ts of Flirtatious Texting

flirtatious texting

So you’re dating someone and you’d like to spice things up in some way…

Or could it be you’re just looking for a new way to have a little fun?

Maybe it’s finally time to reignite that long lost spark in your relationship…

Whatever it is … texting could be the answer you’ve been looking for.

Yep, you read that right: Texting. Flirtatious Texting to be exact. And if you’re not sure where to start … you’ve come to the right place.

Top Flirty Texting Dos and Don’ts


DO … start with “gratitude” and compliments


The best way to get a conversation going is by thanking the other person for a [date, meal, present, “just being you”, other …] or by giving a well-deserved compliment.

Even if your end goal is some fun in the bedroom, you should avoid starting a texting conversation with something a little too sexy or erotic. Build up to that, but start a little cooler—especially if you’re not on super loving/close terms right now.

DON’T … go on and on


Don’t be too chatty when you text. A nicely worded, one sentence text is all you need to start things off and keep things going. Less is more!


DO … make plans to meet in person


In other words, if you don’t otherwise see each other (in life, at work, socially…) you should avoid texting back and forth for days and weeks on end. The end goal should be to actually get together! So make plans.


DON’T … always leave the ball in their court


Hold up your end of the conversation. Don’t leave them to keep things rolling or keep things spicy. That’s annoying, and the convo will likely fizzle out.


DO … follow their lead if you’re completely unsure


If they were the one to start things up, let them lead things. This does not mean answering their texts with short boring answers, i.e. “yes”, “haha”, “wow!” That’s lame. But what you don’t want to do is take the reins and lead the convo somewhere they were unprepared to go. Follow their lead and mimic their tone and text size.


DON’T … send a follow up text if you don’t hear back


If you don’t hear back, there’s a reason. Don’t send another text 10 minutes, 2 hours or 1 day later saying “Helloooo!?!” That is what crazy people do. Just let it go.


DO … be responsive


Reply back! Don’t wait 3 hours or 4 days or whatever the “rule” is. Just write back when it’s convenient for you. Write back as you would with a friend or sibling. Don’t rush it, but don’t wait forever either. It’s a nice thing to be responsive, and the other person will appreciate it.

DON’T … be too responsive


Ok, let’s be real. Even though you don’t want to be so lax that you wait 4 weeks to respond, but also don’t respond like immediately after they do with a huge text. That’s overkill, and it might be a turnoff to them just as it might be to you if someone else did that.


DO … text primarily when sober …


In other words, don’t text someone when you’ve been drinking. This is just common sense. And especially don’t text an ex when you’ve been drinking. If you can, tell your friends or whoever you’re hanging out with to keep you in check. You will always regret this.


DON’T … send pics if you’re not exclusive yet


Sexy pictures and super sexy texts can be great, but don’t send pictures especially when you two aren’t exclusive or on super good terms. This can seem too forward, and if you’re not sure where things will end up between the two of you, you might not want those pictures out there in the end.


DO … Get tips from professionals


Lessons in texting? Yup. It’s true and you probably need ‘em. It’s not actually that strange either. People get lessons in public speaking, negotiating, and talking to new people. Why would texting be any different?

There are lots of ways to get help with your texting game. We will recommend one way here that seems to be the most popular: Text the Romance Back. This is a program developed by a leading relationship expert named Michael Fiore.

Fiore helps you go from a texting newbie to a texting expert—one who will be spinning beautiful, meaningful texts to your honey in no time. All you need is your smartphone and the ability to follow a few key steps and directions.

The truth is, texting to be flirtatious isn’t rocket science. But it is important to know the basics of how to use it. These days, this form of communication is so vital to relationships that it can actually hurt you and your relationship if you don’t know how to do it correctly.

Try using these tips and resources to get started. It can change your relationship, your self-confidence, and of course … your sex life … overnight.