by Dina Blas
Everyone deserves to be with someone who really loves them and everyone deserves to have their own happy ending. I believe in this wholeheartedly. However, in order to have all of this you’ve got to be emotionally ready and mentally unattached to how this will all manifest itself.
There are many unhealthy reasons that women use to get into a relationship that can usually predict a miserable and toxic relationship as the outcome. However, it’s the deeper emotional issues behind these reasons that are important to understand.
So why is being lonely never a good reason to get into relationship? Because no matter what you may think, a relationship built on insecurities and codependency can never truly have a solid foundation from which it can sustain real growth and prosperity.
Why you never want to get into a relationship because you are lonely:
- You will send your desperate energy out into the world and therefore attract the same energy back
- You will expect to find someone to “complete you” without even realizing that you are already whole just as you are
- You will lose the opportunity to take time to heal yourself completely and unselfishly
- You will make rash decisions based on the false belief systems you have been carrying around with you
- You will behave in such a way that your partner will eventually realize that you are not a healthy person to be around
- You will be taken advantage of by someone who likes to manipulate vulnerable women and you will let him or her
- You will continue to get into toxic relationships over and over again and never find true happiness
So what should you do if you’re lonely?
Here are some tips to help you find peace with yourself when you’re alone.
- Understand the reasons you feel the “need” to be around someone else
- Get into therapy if your reasons make you VERY emotional that you cannot function
- Hire a life coach if your reasons are manageable and you are ready to responsibility for your life
- Make a list of activities you find enjoyable and start crossing them off your list
- Make a list of NEW activities you’ve never tried before and take a chance of finding something that makes you feel alive
- Take time to be alone and journal all the feelings coming up
- Make new friends who share a similar background and do fun things together
- Find a support group where you can talk about your feelings
- Do physical activities to get the endorphins pumping (this will change your mood immediately)
The most important thing you want to understand if you’re lonely is that it is OKAY to feel lonely. It is just not okay to use it as a reason or excuse to get into just any relationship that will probably fail and leave you feeling even more devastated and disappointed.
Take time to heal yourself first. Don’t expect others to save you. No matter where you go in life or who you are with, the one constant person who will always be with you, is you. You cannot hide from her so honor her by finding ways to become the person you always wanted to be.
Live the life you love by projecting your inner beauty and confidence into the world. Heal yourself first. Get into a relationship second.
Wishing you the best on your brave new healing journey,
Dina Blas is an Inner Healing Life Coach, Reiki Practitioner, and Meditation Teacher, who helps her clients who have experienced childhood trauma break their toxic relationship cycle and rewrite their new love story. Learn how to let go of your past and step into your power by contacting Dina at her website or by joining her private Facebook group for loving support and encouragement during your healing journey.