If you grew up in a time when waiting by the phone for your boyfriend or girlfriend to call was the norm, texting may be a little weird for you. Even if you’re used to texting now, you may not be exactly sure how to use it to your advantage in a romantic relationship. How the heck do you use texting to flirt?
Well, if you don’t know, you need to find out. For one, texting can be extremely useful in flirting. It’s easy once you know what to do and it’s super effective.
In fact, one of the ways that texting can come in extremely handy for a relationship is when you want to reignite that spark between you two and learn how to flirt again even if it’s been many years since you were at that stage of your relationship.
But before we get into exactly how to flirt text, let’s talk about something you’re just going to have to accept: texting is the new talking. Instead of chatting someone up at a bar or getting flirty with someone in the corner booth, couples are texting.
Yes, yes, we know, we know: How horrible!
Well, there are many sides to this. Let’s explore:
Okay. Texting is not that bad. We know that you want to keep the real conversation going in your relationship, and that is great! But that doesn’t mean that texting can’t supplement that conversation.
Texting can keep you in touch if you’re in a long-distance relationship. And you can keep in touch throughout the day. It’s also a great format for talking when you two are fighting or going through a rough patch … and it’s just too hard to talk face-to-face right away.
The bad part of the new situation with texting and relationships is that people don’t know the right way to do it. They usually either text too much or too little.
Have you ever sent someone a message that was super kind and sweet and had at least a few sentences with a friendly exclamation point at the end … only to get a “K” in return?
Yeah. That’s too little.
But have you ever had someone bombard you with long messages throughout the day, bugging you to respond? “Hey, are you there?” 5 minutes later “I said are you there???”
That’s too much. And annoying.
Finally, the ugly. This is the thing that most people talk about when they talk about how horrible texting is these days. It’s the fact that some couples are texting more than they’re actually talking. In other words, their heads are into their phones constantly, and they don’t even have time to look up and actually converse with your partner. This is bad obviously. No one’s arguing that.
What we’re saying is that texting can be a good supplement to your relationship. It can create passion like you never thought possible. And it can keep you connected even when you’re seemingly falling apart. Here’s how.
How to Use Texting to Bring Sex and Passion Back Into Your Relationship
Okay, you’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly of the new way that couples are text messaging these days.
Now, let’s talk about exactly how to use flirtatious text messaging to bring passion back into your relationship. Here are three key things you need to know.
Give Them an Opening
For starters, remember not to dominate the conversation too much, but also … be the leader. Sound confusing? It’s actually not.
You just need to keep in mind that your partner hasn’t started this text conversation, so they may not be sure how to keep up or where it’s headed. You need to guide them in the right direction and give them space to say exactly what you’re looking for. Which leads us to the next tip …
Don’t be super obvious. Don’t bombard them with huge amounts of long texts and go into great detail with everyone. That’s just too much. You need to be a little mysterious and make them wonder who this new you us.
Use ellipses (…) at the ends of your sentences to convey mystery and intrigue. Ask questions that are easy for them to answer in a sexy or cute way. Say things that lead into even sexier topics … Then …
Say This Thing That They Want You to Say …
You need to remember that there are certain things this person is desperately wanting you to say. For example, they might want you to be visual. So if you want something to happen between the two of you, you need to set up the picture.
Make them imagine it so that they want you more. On the other hand, some people want you to explain what might happen between the two of you, say, tonight in the bedroom, and in that case, you need to know what to say of course.
To figure out what your partner wants you to say and how to say whatever this is … you need a skill set. This can be difficult to deal with if you’re just starting out with flirtatious texting, so here’s some advice. Check out Text the Romance Back. Michael Fiore, renowned relationship expert, created Text the Romance Back to help couples reignite that spark between them and bring intimacy and romantic back into the relationship. Check it out here and see what you think.
In the end, if you come away with anything from this article, it should be that you need to put effort into the texts that you send to your partner. Whether your relationship is on the rocks or you’re just looking for a new way to spice things up, text messaging is the new “talking,” so use it to your advantage. You won’t be sorry!